Direct Messages - Deleted User b96339db

Wait you made this account yesterday but you're in the Pinkpilling archive server?

yess

12:49 PM

i was trying to monitor you

12:50 PM

but you have good idk what you call it

What why?

12:50 PM

Good opsec?

because i was mad or something

Celestia

Good opsec?

yes

Oh Maxie

12:51 PM

I don't actually post in servers, like at all if ever

12:51 PM

I'm too busy taking care of my daughters in DMs

12:51 PM

And editing art for twitter (edited)

12:51 PM

And irl things

12:51 PM

No time for Discord servers

12:51 PM

I'll make my own eventually but it's been delayed for months

i know i just thought i could dm you the stuff i send you on twitter today here or something

12:52 PM

idk

Huh?

Celestia

I'll make my own eventually but it's been delayed for months

that's crazy

Celestia

Huh?

i don't know

12:53 PM

don't question my methods

12:53 PM

i don't do either (edited)

Nah cause people think I have a 'cord and raid or derail threads but nothing like that exists

threads?

People just want to say "trans = bad" and be seen as a hero for trying to doxx me with dumb larger than life threads blowing shit out of proportion

12:55 PM

Yes, like all the drama, soyjak, /lgbt/, kiwifarms, twitter call outs

ah oki

So much of it is bullshit but not worth addressing publicly

12:56 PM

In a way its helped my growth but its also kinda dumb

no i only know about that one schizo impersonating you (edited)

Oh, Peach?

12:57 PM

She was mind broken for a long time. Multiple accounts

12:57 PM

But she's my daughter now

12:57 PM

That's all she really wanted so

lmao

12:57 PM

wtf

It's actually better that I blocked her though cause turns out at the time she was 17

12:58 PM

So yeah was a good call

oof

But that's in the pass

in the pass?

Well she's no longer 17

12:58 PM

She's 18

ah okay

I gave her a chance since she was being good

12:59 PM

Not schizo

i remember when i was 17

1:00 PM

i met someone on twitter

1:00 PM

that also like kind of did feminization stuff with people

1:00 PM

and i started to really like him

1:00 PM

but he found out and it was joever

1:00 PM

and i never found him again after that

1:01 PM

i still remeber his profile picture

What was it

i'd have to search it

1:02 PM

anyways

If you relapse again and get all negative

1:05 PM

I want to know what's the best action MarineSip

1:05 PM

Because I want to be able to help you

like what to do about it?

Yeah I don't know if how we did it on twitter DMs was the best way

1:06 PM

It was kinda funny with your images tho

i love them

1:06 PM

but yes idk

1:07 PM

since you can't physically slap me for it

I'll just slap you with your pics :3

hm yeah

1:08 PM

i guess encouragment or blackmail

1:08 PM

or a mix of both idk

Yeah I think so

1:08 PM

You're gonna be okay

okay

You asked me why I do it

1:09 PM

I don't know

1:09 PM

It just feels right

Maternal instinct?

Hahaha

1:09 PM

Maybe

hmm

1:11 PM

you know i always was very interested in Freud

1:11 PM

he's not always right

1:11 PM

but i think he has a lot of insightful things to say

1:12 PM

i think it may be logical that because you are happy with what HRT has done for you

1:13 PM

that you want to like help others with it or something along these lines

That may be the case, my life has only gotten better since starting HRT. Faildox was a little annoying but besides that it's all been good

1:14 PM

So the idea of others that want to start refusing to do so and let the time pass annoys me

1:14 PM

Especially when I think they're cute

Hmm

1:15 PM

I don't really have a good relationship with my mom unfortunatly

1:16 PM

And although my dad was always very good to me

1:16 PM

i feel like i've always missed this unconditional love that one recieves from their mother

1:17 PM

Maybe I should show you more love

Celestia

Click to see attachment 🖼️

lmao

1:18 PM

i feel like this is somthing were psychoanalysis is very useful

1:19 PM

but enough Freud shilling

1:21 PM

or maybe one more thing

1:21 PM

i feel like it also has helped me explain why my mom is the way she is

1:22 PM

she is from an immigrant family (complex stuff and not brown btw) and her parents especially her dadwas very strict

1:23 PM

and she just carries that on for no reason like we'd still be at risk of starving everyday

1:23 PM

she also wanted a daughter

1:24 PM

in the best case one that becomes a doctor

Become a daughter

so i think she's just dissapointed

Celestia

Become a daughter

i don't think it works like thag sadly

1:25 PM

very backwards thinking

1:26 PM

also it'd probably be an embarresment for her in front of the family

1:26 PM

i have like 200 relatives on my mothers side

1:27 PM

and they're all very judgy

1:27 PM

maybe hard to explain

1:27 PM

but they're really german

1:28 PM

like in germany there are diffrent local cultures

1:28 PM

and they're like the most german

1:28 PM

the kind of soulless work to your death and be happy about it german

1:29 PM

okay anyway

1:29 PM

sorry for all the venting

1:30 PM

i would eat dinner and do some other stuff if that's okay

1:31 PM

oh and the clothes arrived btw

1:32 PM

already managed to wash the skirt

Oh it's okay, it was a good read

1:35 PM

You can do things if you have to. Sometimes you have to realize that family is dumb though, because boomer mindset

1:35 PM

Would love to see the new clothes :3

okay ty

Celestia

Would love to see the new clothes :3

may be able to do this on saturday

5:02 PM

Sorry for getting in toch the last few days had a busy weekend

It's okay, Mommy has as well

can i ask you something?

6:01 PM

would it be okay if i like talked to other people

6:02 PM

like on discord or twitter or halfchan

6:04 PM

about lewd stuff

6:10 PM

What did you mean by this?~

5:05 AM

i am fucking tired of all the bs

5:07 AM

i feel like setting myself a deadline until my birthday and either i've found the motivation and started hrt until then or i just accept it's joever

5:08 AM

not gonna be one of those mf that start hrt at 19

Sounds like a plan, but you can't get it through the government in Germany right. Or if you did it would be bad cause unsafe? Or parents would kick you out etc.

7:43 AM

?

Celestia

Sounds like a plan, but you can't get it through the government in Germany right. Or if you did it would be bad cause unsafe? Or parents would kick you out etc.

I'd have to go to a therapist, wait on a list for an appointment and then have sessions for a few months or a year (depends) and insurance would probably only cover partially and I'd have explain to my parents why I need to visit a therapist and the doctor that actually prescribes it/checks your levels (edited)

9:43 AM

they also only give it for gender dysphoria and a lot of therapists want you to do basically everything else before giving you your Indikationsschreiben

9:44 AM

and they only prescribe pills or gel

I assume you don't want to tell your parents. And this means you want injections right? You need to find a source of income asap. And if you're doing injections you still need to buy the needles over the counter. Gonna have to hide them from your parents

Talking about this with my parents is a big risk

11:18 AM

I also wouldn't know what to say to them

11:19 AM

I'm also thinking about starting with pills and then switching to injections (edited)

So the plan should be for you to order DIY pills and hide them then, get a full-time or temporary job that can cover the costs. Could be easy to hide from your parents if you're living somewhere else during school, but then you still have to figure out how online DIY will ship to you. Extra money should go towards getting your own place away from your parents or even moving out of Germany if you really can't talk to them about this stuff. There's really no way you can do all the legal stuff without your parents finding out? Is there a reason? You're 18 but they still require it because why?

I'm still in high school for a year

1:46 PM

Earliest I'll be able to move out is when university

1:46 PM

and i can't do the legal stuff because

1:47 PM

1. insurance goes through my parents so i would have to carry therapist and whatever myself

1:48 PM

2. The only way to get HRT legal is through a state certified therapist

1:48 PM

(there's currently also a shortage of them) (edited)

1:49 PM

and they are basically free to give (or not give) you the Indikationsschreiben whenever they see fit

1:50 PM

which is what you need for surgeries & HRT

1:50 PM

so you have to try around till you find one that takes gender dysphoria serious in the first place

1:51 PM

and then isn't gonna make you a few years just to make sure

1:54 PM

and then the ones that do aknowlegde that trans people exist only give you your Indikationsschreiben if you have enough GD symptoms so I can't just go there and say "Hey I'm feeling confused about gender stuff pls give HRT"

1:55 PM

and then insurance might have additional requirements

1:56 PM

but i basically told you that already???

1:57 PM

idk i don't think that shit is gonna work

1:58 PM

i'd have to wait forever until i can get FFS and legal HRT

1:59 PM

until then i have to buy illegal HRT

1:59 PM

and try to boymode

1:59 PM

hoping that I'll actually pass once i get FFS

2:00 PM

and not become a 6'2 gigahon never having had any female socialisation (edited)

2:01 PM

it's joever (edited)

Just female socialize online

8:29 PM

Online DIY and boymode for now

8:29 PM

You say it's over but you haven't even started yet

8:29 PM

So don't give up

okay fuck this i'm gonna order it soon™

6:48 AM

only thing i'm not sure about is in what form

6:49 AM

the more i read about monotherapy the more it seems like the worse option

monotherapy is really only viable with injections and even then it's better to switch to that instead of start with that

5:32 PM

Otokonoko Pharma is down so you'll have to select a different DIY from hrt.coffee

Celestia

monotherapy is really only viable with injections and even then it's better to switch to that instead of start with that

kkk

Celestia

Otokonoko Pharma is down so you'll have to select a different DIY from hrt.coffee

imma look into it

seeing you use astolfo is really cute to me

5:35 PM

I feel like it fits you, HRT astolfo (edited)

bruh

5:36 PM

it's a good thing

ty mommy

Pinkpills Now (edited)

5:44 PM

errrmmm actshually this is grooming and i'm alerting the feds sweaty (edited)

alerting the feds over a nothingburger, taken into custody for wasting law enforcements time

5:56 PM

it's legal grooming officer

>mfw

otkph.am?

Celestia

Otokonoko Pharma is down so you'll have to select a different DIY from hrt.coffee

regarding this

Hmm, is that the new domain? I would need confirmation from Lilian